Sharing custody forces people who have ended their relationship with one another to interact regularly. Co-parents often go through a challenging adjustment. Eventually, everyone in the family settles into the new normal, and custody exchanges become part of the routine.
Parents adapt to the need to communicate with one another and work cooperatively for the benefit of their children. Initially, it can be quite difficult for people to control their emotions and interact appropriately. There are a few tips that can make co-parenting communication less stressful.
How can people fulfill their obligation to share information about their children without causing conflict?
Use a parenting app
Communicating in writing is often the best way to keep things calm. When people realize that there is a permanent record of what they say, they may be less inclined to start arguments or use hostile language. Additionally, the use of a parenting app keeps all of the information related to shared custody in one central location. Parents can quickly verify their schedule and whether they made any adjustments recently. Co-parenting apps help document the interactions between parents and may limit opportunities for unnecessary conflict.
Keep everything focused on the kids
Interactions can quickly become negative and contentious if parents start discussing their feelings or wishes instead of important matters related to the children. Keeping conversations focused on children can be beneficial. Parents who keep in-person discussions brief and stay on topic are less likely to experience negative emotional reactions and lose their cool.
Prepare for the likelihood of conflict
No matter how rational and patient co-parents may try to be, they may occasionally let their emotions get the better of them. Recognizing that intense emotional responses are normal and having a plan in place for navigating disagreements can be beneficial. Parents may also want to agree to a specific conflict resolution process, such as tabling the discussion for 24 hours, in case they find themselves becoming emotional and disagreeing. They may even want to have an agreement about working with a third party, such as a pastor or co-parenting counselor, to discuss disagreements with support if they cannot resolve them on their own.
Effective co-parenting does generally require regular interactions. Maintaining the right mental focus while adjusting to shared custody can help the entire family heal after a divorce.